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Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Crosswords are the Most Fun You Can Have Without Passing Out

So, I'm sitting here listening to Of Montreal. This Skeletal Framing LP rocks my socks off. The lyrics are insane and completely carry the random melodies and beats. It's totally music for the ADD. If I happen to interupt this blog with random lyrics, please understand.
I love really well written lyrics. I hate it when I google lyrics to a random song that I think I like, only to find out that it actually has very little meat to the words and is just the same repetitive verse over and over again. Completely turns me off the song.

"I'm a motherfuckin' headline and Bitch, you don't even know it"

The rest of my day yesterday was pretty chill (and drama-free, thank god.) I went to the Las Vegas Athletic Club on Sahara last night thinking I could cut down the commute to the one I normally go to. Just as I suspected, it was ghetto. The machines were from the 80s and the facility was so very small. Half of it is being renovated too, so there was plastic draping everywhere. I will probably never go to that one again. I don't even know why it's still open during the renovation. I also noticed that not nearly as many pretty people work out there, so there was nothing interesting to watch.
I love gym time. It's the one time every day that I can just zone out and listen to my music and think without any interuption. The endorphin high is amazing. I may be strange, but I love to sweat. It gives me better mental clarity somehow. I also feel like it purifies my body of all the toxins and I walk out feeling new again. As you all know, I put a lot of toxins in my body, so this is of the upmost importance to me.
Another great reason that I love them gym is to stare at boys. I know, a bit pervy, right? I can't help it. Las Vegas has so many hot, built guys and everyone goes to the LVAC here. I especially love the LVAC at 215 and Flamingo. Apparently, the porn stars live central because I'm always seeing them work their bodies out there. It's always funny when I catch myself staring at some guy like I know him personally, only to realize moments later that I don't, that I've seen his movie. I have to stop myself from running up to them and say, "OMG I love your work! Watch That Bitch Do Splits 2 was the penacle of your career. Here's a Sharpee, sign my ass, PLEASE?!?!?!?"
Of course, there are the downsides to the gym as well. My friends have recently brought it to my attention that there are continuous postings to craigslist.com about me in the Missed Connections M4M section. Some would find this flattering, and it was at first. Now, it's just downright creepy.
I know that I've had a mention or two on there before but the increasing number and communication between the stalkers has me a bit sketched out. I'll give you some examples:

Hot Punk Dude at LVAC - m4m - 24 (215 & Flamingo)


Date: 2009-08-25, 3:25PM PDT
Hey, seen you at the LVAC off Flamingo a lot lately. Tall white guy, usually with a bandana and/or hat....but you have a blond mohawk I've seen a couple times. You also have an industrial in your right ear. I keep trying to get your attention but ur usually way zoned out with your iPod. Your way fine dude. Look for me there. Seems like we work out at the same time a lot. Me: 5'8 Blond/green, athletic, tan. Give me a little eye contact, I'll say hi...or hit me up on here.

P.S. I like The Runaways too. ;)

  • Location: 215 & Flamingo
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
The next one reads:

Re: Hot Punk Dude at LVAC - m4m - 28


Date: 2009-09-01, 1:06AM PDT


SERIOUSLY? There have been so many posts on here about this dude. Yeah, we all know. That could be the best decription I've heard yet? STALKER.....just kidding. No worries, there's a whole group of us that gawk at him but are too afraid to say hi. We can't decide if he's hot and mean.....or just hot and doesn't pay attention. LOL. He works out kinda random, right? Mostly afternoons, some nights, and he's been spotted a few times in the morning too. Now I sound bad. Haha. Anyway, anyone else know who we're talkin about? Just curious. Does anyone know his name?

and then.....

Dude w/ Mohawk at Walmart - m4m - 23 (Rainbow & Spring Mt.)


Date: 2009-09-02, 2:21PM PDT


Hey....saw you at Walmart yesterday around 5:30pm. You: tall, 6'-6'4", white, vgl, blond mohawk, wearing a blue cut-off t-shirt for some sports team (Toronto I think). Me: 5'9", white, vgl, athletic...we caught eachothers eyes a few times in the paint section, you were looking at spray paint. Saw you again in the laundry area. Wouldn't mind getting to know you. Would have said hi, but I had a girl with me. Hit me back if u see this. Tell me what I was wearing.

and then,

Re:Hot Punk Dude at LVAC, Re: Guy with Mohawk at Walmart - m4m - 25 (Jones & Flamingo)


Date: 2009-09-04, 4:00PM PDT


Ok, these two post have got to be the same guy. I saw him at Smith's last night at Jones & Flamingo. He looked like he'd just finished working out and came in to pick a few things up. I have to guess he lives somewhere in the area between 215 and Flamingo to at least Jones & Flamingo...since there are so many Smith's up and down Flamingo. I never post anything up here....but this is turning into Mohawk Watch 2009. Kind of funny.

P.S. Why doesn't anyone ever just go and introduce themselves to him? He doesn't seem unfriendly, just like he has a lot on his mind.

  • Location: Jones & Flamingo
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

and then, funnily enough, my friend, Tara, found this one this morning in PHOENIX and called me about it.

LVAC, treadmill? - w4m - 22 (215 and Flamingo)


Date: 2009-09-08, 10:58AM PDT


hey, saw you at the LVAC on Friday. My dorm-mate and I were on the treadmills behind you. I don't think you noticed us until you were about to leave...you took your headphones off and turned around to go but we were giggling. Sorry, you caught us off guard. We were just talking about how you had a nice ass! Anyway, if you see this, hit us up. We kept talking about taking you back to our room together and having a good time. You: Tall, blue eyes, blond mohawk, tattoo on your right thigh (what does it mean?), mid-twenties. Us: 5'6" Blonde/blue, 120, 22yo, and 5'8" Brown/blue, 120, 21yo.

XXXOXXX

  • Location: 215 and Flamingo
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests




Ok, I know I go to the gym a lot, every day, in fact, but what's the obsession? I really don't understand. The funny thing is that I'm so completely zoned out at the gym, I haven't a clue who any of these people may be. The rest of the posts are basically me running errands on my way to or from the gym.
The creepiest one, to me, is the first posting. The "P.S. I like the Runaways too" part is just so very "THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!" How close did he have to be to me to hear what I was listening to in a loud, often crowded gym? I don't know how I could have missed someone coming over and sitting on my lap at one of the machines. Then again, my dad always used to say that I had no radar for people checking me out. So, I'm probably just being oblvious.
After the gym, I ran home to shower and change. I left my house way ahead of time. I was like lightening getting ready. I never cooled down at the gym for time's sake and I was still going a thousand miles a minute. I would have gotten to Town Square earlier had the LOVELY construction of Las Vegas not prevented me. Apparently they closed the on-ramp to the 15 on Flamingo, so I was forced to take the Strip. I avoid that damn strip like a plague. It is constantly congested with bumper-to-bumper traffic. The only plus side was that I got to check out the progress on City Center. The architecture of that complex is amazing. It truly is a work of art. I just hope it's used after the millions spent on it. The construction started back when the economy wasn't quite so bad and now, I'm afraid, it's going to be complete in a recession. Rumors have been flying that the condos in it aren't moving at all. Great! We'll have more empty and/or forclosed homes in Vegas! As if there weren't enough.
These economic times have hit Vegas particularly hard. I do find it quite interesting to watch how uniquely it has changed this town. Covers to clubs have gotten slashed in half. Ticket prices to shows are cut down. Some big names on the Strip have ended their runs early due to poor ticket sales. Everyone is either getting laid off or looking for a job.
Simply looking for a job in this town has turned ridiculous. I understand the theory of supply and demand just as well as anyone, but these employers really have their heads up their asses. I had one woman whom I was interviewing with say, "I've hired 9 people in the last month and I've fired 9 people in the last month. It's my luxury in this economy. If you can't come in and immediately do the job perfectly, I will fire you the next day." That's when I lost interest with the company. Frankly, I don't think the fear of losing one's job as an ever-present threat is exactly conducive to employee productivity or morale.
So what happens when you have a city of entertainers and attractive people suddenly stuck in the desert without a way to pay their bills? That's right. They turn to stripping, porn, and prostitution. I wish that I could say that I look down on this kind of work, but I understand you gotta do what you gotta do. I've watched as very straight-laced friends of mine have done just that. Funnily enough, they end up making way more money than they did in their previous career doing so as well.
Dallas is a perfect example of this. When she lost her job at the bank and didn't have any way to make her bills, she started stripping. When I met her, she was a sweet, conservative bank teller from Texas. Overnight, she became a micro-mini wearing, boobs balls out, stacked-heel sportin, full-fledged stripper.
She started making thousands a week just by talking to guys in the club and crawling around on the stage. She couldn't even pole, but the money was still coming in in fistfuls. It was like her house embodied everything Sin City is known for. She and her roommate were both former coworkers at the bank and both were stripping. It was fun while it lasted, but thankfully she met her fiancee at the club one day and he whisked her off to Michigan and out of the life. I think there comes a point where you become the job, so the trick is to get out before that happens. Trina said it best, "I used the strip clubs as a steppin' stone. Hit the stage. Get Paid. It wasn't my second home."
The Porn Industry has exponentially improved since the economy's plummet. I've noticed over the last 2 years that the porn stars keep getting more and more attractive. I attribute it to the gay and straight men willing to do just about anything to get by. People who normally would never have had sex on camera are willingly stripping off their clothes to pay the bills. A huge gay fetish is, of course, straight men. Well, the many sites dedicated to getting straight guys to foray into the world of amatuer internet gay porn have sky-rocketed. It's a well-known fact that the only way a man can make decent money in porn is by going gay-for-pay. Straight guys in straight porn maybe get $500 for a scene. Guys in gay porn get $1500-$3000 for a scene in a major studio release. Of course that fluctuation depends on what is asked of them; roles, fetishes, and the like.
I know you're wondering if I'm a porn addict by now. The answer is yes and no. I suppose the entire industry facinates me. I find it very interesting to learn of how people came to be in it.
I never had much interest in porn until after I broke up with my last boyfriend. I was young and wanting a relationship so bad several years ago that I put my blinders on and started seriously dating this guy without ever doing a background check of any kind or asking around about him. I found out AFTER he moved in that he had done porn a couple of years back and apparently, I was the last person in the gay community in Indianapolis to know. I was shocked and hurt but I convinced myself that nobody that I knew would find out, so I would just keep it a secret umongst ourselves. Not two days later, a straight girlfriend of mine (who I worked with at the time) approached me to tell me that she knew of his porn and that her brother had gotten online to verify it was him. We became quite the talk of the town. The well-bred, well-educated guy with the former porn star from the middle of nowhere was quite the gossip.
I never went searching to find his porn while we were together. I didn't want to see it. The thought of watching some other dude screw my boyfriend turned my stomach. A month after we broke up, my friend convinced me I had to see it "for closure." Really, I think he was just trying to kick up drama but I took down his membership info for Corbinfisher.com anyway and looked it up. I'll admit, I was pretty shocked by what I found. Probably 9 or 10 different scenes on the site depicting my ex in about every position with around 15 guys. Strangely, it didn't repulse me. I watched every single scene, not for sexual gratification in any way, just because I realized my friend was right and I had to see it.
I had always asked my ex what compelled him to go into porn. All he ever said was, "I was 19. I wanted to travel." Not as in "use the money made for travel" but he simply wanted this production studio to fly him to California to work. I thought that was pretty sad. He grew up poor and had never been out of the midwest. Hell, at that point, he's probably never been on a real vacation...and he was so desperate to get the chance to see a little of the world that he allowed himself to get pounded like a nail for everyone to see. I think he regretted it in the end, though. I don't think he realized that even now, 6 years later, it would still be viewable. Thanks to the internet and downloading, it can never be destroyed or go away.
So, that was how I got facinated by porn. I became addicted to keeping up on it just to see if I would recognize anyone. As luck would have it, I've seen at least 6 or 7 guys from my home town on the amateur sites. I think if you're gay and live in the midwest or Florida for some reason, you're bound to do porn at some point.

Prostitution here in Vegas has, no doubt, increased greatly as jobs become fewer. Get on craigslist.com or adam4adam.com and you see countless postings from escorts or those looking for "generou$" guys. Strangely enough, I think most guys would rather trick than do it on camera. At least they can keep it discrete and still make the money. I would love to live inside one of those guys' head for a day. I'm just curious of what the thought process is....the motivations.

Even all the masseurs here have taken to giving "happy endings" or, as my husband would call them, "Rub and Tugs." I have one aquaintance of mine, whom I met at the gym, unabashedly tell me all about how he leaves his clients satisfied. I was a bit taken aback to learn that he genuinely enjoys doing it and that it seems to satisfy some preversion of his. Then again, I suppose there are those out there that genuinely enjoy the work of prostitution, or, in his case, lending a helping hand.

In any case, I finally got to Town Square to meet Laura and Brent just before the movie was to begin. We saw All About Steve. In all honesty, I was a little disappointed by the movie for several reasons;

1. Bradley Cooper was not the main focus of the movie.
2. I found the ending horribly anti-climatic.
3. Bradley Cooper never got naked or even shirtless for more than 5 seconds.
4. It was just kind of a stupid, inane plot that held no real meaning to me.

Now, I'm not saying it was bad by any means. I just expected a little more out of a Sandra Bullock movie. It was hilarious and I laughed my ass off. There were some great one-liners in it that will definitely be regurgatated from my lips for months to come.
"Crosswords are the most fun you can have without passing out."
"You rest those mouth pillows. You're going to need them later for naughtiness."
"I'm making her an apple head for when she gets out of the hole."

I'm not saying that I don't like stupid comedies, I do. I just hated that they tried to wrap some altruistic message into it at the end when they should have simply left the audience with a parting laugh.

After the movie, the 3 of us went to Escape Lounge, had a few drinks and chilled. I love that bar. It's not hard to talk me into grabbing a beer there. It's never over-crowded, you can still converse with the people you're with, it's clean, it has a great juke box, pool, and it's still dirt cheap to drink. Sadly, I think all of the bartenders know my name and my drink. I've spent countless hours there in the last year. My two favorite bartenders are Landon and Michael. They're always down to keep you company, especially when you come in alone. I suppose the place has become my Cheers.

After Escape, I went home and watched the season premiere of 90210 on DVR. I may have to cut that one out of my lineup. I just bore with it so easily, especially when Jenny Garth or Shannon Doherty aren't in the episode. Signs of my age, I guess.
I have a feeling I'm going to get hardcore addicted to the new Melrose Place, though. I love all the references and tie-ins with the original show. I truly wish Heather Locklear was in it as a central character, but I'll take crazy-ass Sydney and Michael as a consellation prize any day. I think Ashlee Simpson looks good and I'm glad they didn't focus much on her in the first episode, although I think her character is one of those good girls who's going to turn into a crazy ho. I can't wait to watch and find out. I LOVED that they had the doctor turning tricks for tuition money at the end. Hell, I'd have hit that for free. The $5000 would just be for me to roll around in afterward. "Holla....Daddy got some new shoe money!"
The real eye candy is Shaun Sipos. He plays David, Michael's son, who was apparently screwing Sydney at some point. He is one hot slice of fuckberry pie! I'm not going to mind the sexual intrigue where he's concerned. I was a little disappointed that they couldn't have 1 gay character. I mean, come on, it's an apartment building in L.A. in 2009. In real life, that building would be half gay, so I don't think I'm asking to much. If they really wanted to make me happy, David could go gay this season. As long as there were lot of nice scandalous scenes in that pool, I could watch it for days.

Well, anyway, I'd better jump off here and motivate myself for the gym. My new training shoes came in the mail today (online shopping has been my recent addiction) and I can't wait to go break them in. Happy Hunting!


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