If You Lived Here, You'd Be Home By Now

As I was driving through the senseless rush-hour traffic on an even more senseless errand, I got to thinking. People always ask why I would want to live in Central Vegas and not in the suburbs (usually with an air of distaste). I'll tell you why; I like living close to the action.
Those same people are the ones who find a reason to have to drive into my area of town nearly every day. So, they get to put up with the bullshit traffic and THEN drive all the way out to their homes at the end of the earth on top of it.
I like that anything I could possibly want is within a mile radius of my house. I like that if I happen to drink too much, it's a $5 cab ride home and not a $60 ride. I like that I'm readily available to all my tourist friends who come into town and I get get to the airport in 15 minutes, or to the Strip in 3. I like that I can get any kind of ethnic food delivered to my door morning, noon, and night.
I'm not trying to raise a family here, people. I'm trying to live a life. So, suburbanites, FUCK OFF. I'm a city boy, always have been and always will be. ;)